Grace & Gratitude

I never had wanted this day to come when I would write something about imposter syndrome. This is something I have been dealing with for a long time. This is an example of how childhood problems hit back harshly when you are an adult. Even if you are open to letting them go, they still drown you in themselves. The imposter syndrome makes you believe in yourself less and less, day by day. And then the day comes when you take a major wrong step just to avoid failure, even when you know you can't fail. And the fear of failure smiles silently from the corner. No matter how hard you work and how much you achieve, you still feel like you are zero. The solid inner voice comes from inside that you are the dumbest person, and even after shunning it n number of times, it never leaves. And then this fear makes you do the things you never intended to.  If you know you are dealing with this, then maybe talking with other people may ease it. Getting counselling is another option if you feel noth

I remember the days when the electricity in my town had a load-shading schedule, and then whenever the electrical power was cut, most memories were made. With my mother and brother, I used to sit on the outside porch, mother in the middle and we both on her left and right, waiting for a new story. My mother is one of the best storytellers. She inherited it from my grandfather, who used to sing melodious hymns and also was a great storyteller.  My brother and I had different choices for the stories. I used to prefer the warriors, and he wanted more peaceful stories. The stories of Shivaji Maharaja and other Freedom Fighters were my favourite, while he liked the anecdotes from Panchatantra. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I have a warrior-like personality. Okay, that's another story for someday. But, yeah, that's the reason we both are filled with very much patriotism.  My mother had perfect ways to make us love the country, its culture and its language, which we often ignor

I thought that the Work-Life Balance was probably the new hot keyword in the era of interest until a few days ago when I realized everything was messed up. Especially working from home and at the same time maintaining the house chores, your hobbies, your extra work can become a nightmare as soon as you can't see boundaries between them. So, here I was, filled with stress and anxiety, expecting more to do in those 24 hours and then unable to do it and so get stressed again. This cycle continued for a few months in a row. I ultimately had given up on my everyday To-Do list. And just the false hope that I can 'do it all' tired me.  There was quite enough time to do everything, but the mental fatigue and the urge to run, and not just to run but run fast, made me look at everyone and stop at your place.  I even didn't stop to look and fix it. I kept running on the treadmill. Until the last Saturday when I got sick and had to fix it. And the previous week was super-productive

Dear stranger, This letter is for you. The story of us is so old to write but trust me I cherish your presence every day. I thank God that you exist. You exist that's why even my solo journey becomes thrilling and successful. Because of your presence, I feel relaxed, calm and empty-headed, because it's only you with whom I can share everything, cause you just love listening to me and "judging" it doesn't even exist in your dictionary and "understanding", I don't even expect. Maybe cause I already have expected it a lot...and even very profound friends of mine have disappointed me. So, I just don't expect it. I love that you don't cross-question me, nor ask more but just listen to what may come. You know what a romantic feeling it is. I love when you come out of nowhere at the station to help me with my baggage, and lessened my burden with your grin. I was a bit afraid to trust but then I looked at you and thought why you ain't doubting me

Procrastination is a measure reason of poor performance! Why do we procrastinate? We procrastinate because we scare of doing the task wrong. We don't know how to start. Being confused about your goals, fuzzy-mindedness about what you are trying to do and for what reason. How to overcome it? Here are some steps: Decide exactly what you want Write it down Set the deadlines and sub deadlines Make a list of everything that you are going to do to achieve it. Organize the list to plan by priority and sequence.(List all the tasks in the order they need to be done.) Take action on your plan immediately. Resolve to do something daily. Clarity of your goals is the most important thing, objectivity doesn't let you deviate from your goal.  Great Rule: Think on the paper If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take, takes us to wrong place. Written goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement.   Plan everyday in advance. Your mind, ability to think, plan and d

My Gentleman Night witnesses my regret, For keeping you away all these years, But it's time to wash my sins, So, writing a few words for you. From the day when you saw me sad, And asked me to laugh a merry laugh, My heart danced in your cadence, Until I asked if we'll ever part. I dived down into the ocean of forms, Flew above the mighty sky, Took the voyage around the world, Until I realized you were already gone. But then I saw hands filled with the stars, For I knew this could be only you- Sorrow ended and flower of joy bloomed, For my king brought the chariot of elixir. Your adoration spreads my wings, Like a glad bird on its flight, And you think you just turned on the light, Unknown to you-you are "the reason" to live. The world is weaving words for you, Twinkling stars adding the music to it, I'm getting tossed in the whirl of fearful joy, While glorifying you- "My Gentleman".

I was just scrolling through my phone gallery, and I came across the pictures from Rishikesh. The holy Rishikesh. In February 2020, just a few days before lockdown, we planned a sudden trip to Rishikesh. How it was planned, or how long it was, doesn't really matter. The only thing that matters is the only adventure we had there, the river rafting. This was the second-best thing that happened in 2020. The first is that I got my first SDE internship. My first river rafting. My relationship with the deep water isn't really good. And above that, I don't even know how to swim. But I wasn't scared of it. Adventures never scared me; the only thing I would like to go on even on the last day of my life. Though the definitions of adventures differ for everyone, mine is different like everyone else. So, I saw the Ganges for the first time, unlike what is described in the science textbooks. It reflected the bluish-green colour, surrounded by majestic mountains. Wow! couldn't be