Grace & Gratitude

It was Saturday, but fortunately was better than the other Saturdays which I spend curling up in my bed from Friday night to Saturday evening.  It was Saturday evening, and I casually texted a guy I met at the workspace about the trek, thinking maybe we could go for it, the next weekend. The guy called back, "When are we leaving? Where shall I come?". And on the other hand, I hadn't even decided which trek... Spontaneous plans are the best. In Bengaluru, in the nearby range, i.e. 60-70 km, two treks are famous, Skandagiri Hills Trek and Nandi Hills Trek. Nandi Hills trek is a short one, 4 km, to and fro. Skandagiri is difficult and is 9 km to and fro. Finally, 8-9 months after coming to Bengaluru, I was about to go on a trek, for real. Three of us.  We boarded the trek bus...from where? Well, does that really matter? And like kids and adults, we had wanted 'the window' seat. One of us gave up. But I and the other guy, didn't. So we took the window seats. In th...

"You never know your limits until you push yourself to them"   Last night my friend reminded me "You were going to post a blog every month, what happened to it?" Today after hitting my new maximum pace, I am here to write 'on running'. It's really difficult to remember when I actually started running. As a 10-year-old the maximum distance I could hit was 200 meters at a great pace. As an 11-year-old, I absolutely hated running. At 600 meters I used to get blackouts. The thought of running even just 1 kilometre used to be one of my worst nightmares, and the idea of running 10 kilometres was out of my sight. It was the CoVid time when I ordered a new pair of running shoes and just went to a nearby park and started running. That was the beginning, which came to an end really soon. After diligently playing football, I discovered my untapped potential and stamina, realizing that I was no longer experiencing blackouts. However, my football sessions abruptly en...

It's only been two weeks since I arrived here, and I swear my life hasn't been as eventful as it is now. Some things have happened offline, and some online, but this city has turned out to be a lucky one for me, at least for now. For the past few months, working from home had put me in a sweet comfort zone. Coming to Bengaluru felt like stepping into a completely new world. When I landed at Bengaluru airport, all I remember was being anxious and scared. While working from home, it was all "Eat. Code. Sleep. Repeat." But here, it is about meeting new people, pursuing new hobbies, networking with people from different domains, and most importantly, exploring my area of interest. The excitement of meeting new people made me nervous initially, but I eventually met some amazing people and had great discussions with them. Some online friends became offline friends, and unfortunately, it was the other way around as well, but that's how it goes. I started pursuing my inte...

(Originally written in December 2022) It's been a year since I started this blog. I made many resolutions for 2022, one of which was to post four blogs each month. That was my excitement, but when I hit reality, I wrote one blog each month, and sometimes at the end of the month, it was posted. That gave me a lot of relief. I always wished to write about my breathtaking experiences here this year, but there weren't many. Most of the time, I was only at home. Hopefully, next year will be more adventurous than ever. My gratitude list is not short, and I am thankful for this blog as well. Through it, I was able to write my thoughts and connect with some nice people. One of the best experiences of this year was going on a solo trip to Rishikesh, staying in a hostel, and being without my phone. I met and helped people, hiked, roamed, rafted, and made some friends. To summarize my best experiences, I learned to ride a bike this year, graduated from college, started my first job, met a...

I never had wanted this day to come when I would write something about imposter syndrome. This is something I have been dealing with for a long time. This is an example of how childhood problems hit back harshly when you are an adult. Even if you are open to letting them go, they still drown you in themselves. The imposter syndrome makes you believe in yourself less and less, day by day. And then the day comes when you take a major wrong step just to avoid failure, even when you know you can't fail. And the fear of failure smiles silently from the corner. No matter how hard you work and how much you achieve, you still feel like you are zero. The solid inner voice comes from inside that you are the dumbest person, and even after shunning it n number of times, it never leaves. And then this fear makes you do the things you never intended to.  If you know you are dealing with this, then maybe talking with other people may ease it. Getting counselling is another option if you feel noth...

I remember the days when the electricity in my town had a load-shading schedule, and then whenever the electrical power was cut, most memories were made. With my mother and brother, I used to sit on the outside porch, mother in the middle and we both on her left and right, waiting for a new story. My mother is one of the best storytellers. She inherited it from my grandfather, who used to sing melodious hymns and also was a great storyteller.  My brother and I had different choices for the stories. I used to prefer the warriors, and he wanted more peaceful stories. The stories of Shivaji Maharaja and other Freedom Fighters were my favourite, while he liked the anecdotes from Panchatantra. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I have a warrior-like personality. Okay, that's another story for someday. But, yeah, that's the reason we both are filled with very much patriotism.  My mother had perfect ways to make us love the country, its culture and its language, which we often ignor...

I thought that the Work-Life Balance was probably the new hot keyword in the era of interest until a few days ago when I realized everything was messed up. Especially working from home and at the same time maintaining the house chores, your hobbies, your extra work can become a nightmare as soon as you can't see boundaries between them. So, here I was, filled with stress and anxiety, expecting more to do in those 24 hours and then unable to do it and so get stressed again. This cycle continued for a few months in a row. I ultimately had given up on my everyday To-Do list. And just the false hope that I can 'do it all' tired me.  There was quite enough time to do everything, but the mental fatigue and the urge to run, and not just to run but run fast, made me look at everyone and stop at your place.  I even didn't stop to look and fix it. I kept running on the treadmill. Until the last Saturday when I got sick and had to fix it. And the previous week was super-productive...

Dear stranger, This letter is for you. The story of us is so old to write but trust me I cherish your presence every day. I thank God that you exist. You exist that's why even my solo journey becomes thrilling and successful. Because of your presence, I feel relaxed, calm and empty-headed, because it's only you with whom I can share everything, cause you just love listening to me and "judging" it doesn't even exist in your dictionary and "understanding", I don't even expect. Maybe cause I already have expected it a lot...and even very profound friends of mine have disappointed me. So, I just don't expect it. I love that you don't cross-question me, nor ask more but just listen to what may come. You know what a romantic feeling it is. I love when you come out of nowhere at the station to help me with my baggage, and lessened my burden with your grin. I was a bit afraid to trust but then I looked at you and thought why you ain't doubting me...

Procrastination is a measure reason of poor performance! Why do we procrastinate? We procrastinate because we scare of doing the task wrong. We don't know how to start. Being confused about your goals, fuzzy-mindedness about what you are trying to do and for what reason. How to overcome it? Here are some steps: Decide exactly what you want Write it down Set the deadlines and sub deadlines Make a list of everything that you are going to do to achieve it. Organize the list to plan by priority and sequence.(List all the tasks in the order they need to be done.) Take action on your plan immediately. Resolve to do something daily. Clarity of your goals is the most important thing, objectivity doesn't let you deviate from your goal.  Great Rule: Think on the paper If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take, takes us to wrong place. Written goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement.   Plan everyday in advance. Your mind, ability to think, plan and ...

My Gentleman Night witnesses my regret, For keeping you away all these years, But it's time to wash my sins, So, writing a few words for you. From the day when you saw me sad, And asked me to laugh a merry laugh, My heart danced in your cadence, Until I asked if we'll ever part. I dived down into the ocean of forms, Flew above the mighty sky, Took the voyage around the world, Until I realized you were already gone. But then I saw hands filled with the stars, For I knew this could be only you- Sorrow ended and flower of joy bloomed, For my king brought the chariot of elixir. Your adoration spreads my wings, Like a glad bird on its flight, And you think you just turned on the light, Unknown to you-you are "the reason" to live. The world is weaving words for you, Twinkling stars adding the music to it, I'm getting tossed in the whirl of fearful joy, While glorifying you- "My Gentleman".

I was just scrolling through my phone gallery, and I came across the pictures from Rishikesh. The holy Rishikesh. In February 2020, just a few days before lockdown, we planned a sudden trip to Rishikesh. How it was planned, or how long it was, doesn't really matter. The only thing that matters is the only adventure we had there, the river rafting. This was the second-best thing that happened in 2020. The first is that I got my first SDE internship. My first river rafting. My relationship with the deep water isn't really good. And above that, I don't even know how to swim. But I wasn't scared of it. Adventures never scared me; the only thing I would like to go on even on the last day of my life. Though the definitions of adventures differ for everyone, mine is different like everyone else. So, I saw the Ganges for the first time, unlike what is described in the science textbooks. It reflected the bluish-green colour, surrounded by majestic mountains. Wow! couldn't be...

How often did it happen that you believed you were not ready for the job this time?  Maybe next time, let's just do some more preparation, let's just work hard for x number of months and then give the job a shot, and the time " when you are perfect " just never arrived.  Whenever opportunity knocked on your door, you were "not ready" to take it or wait-were you just too frightened of getting rejected? This is not just about the job; when I look back, I find out how many times this occurred - it occurred very frequently, maybe every day. I seldom raise my hand in a class, even if I'm 99% sure that the answer is accurate- I step back due to the 1% fear of failure. I always sidestepped when it came to participating in sports because every time I felt, well, I am not ready, I'll work hard to "get ready," and after that, I'll participate. And that moment literally never came. Competitions were my nightmare as I always lacked the practice req...

It's winter, and I feel the Railway station has shifted to my front yard. It's been almost a year since I have travelled by train, but yeah, this train whistle is strongly reminding me of my all journies.  And growing up watching "Jab we Met", this desire to take trains often gets robust.   I take the train with the high hope that I'll meet my Aditya this time, but I end up surrounded by Aditis, a couple and their kids, or the old aunties. (All thanks to IRCTC algorithm). But that doesn't stop me from taking trains every time, just not because I create sweet memories there but sitting by the window-side is not less than going on a vacation. Watching lush green fields and, if the season allows, yellow mustard fields and waterfalls which look like the white zigzag lines from the train. I have never been to the mustard field, but watching them from the train delights me. It activates my artistic brain, and if it's good enough, then words weave poems that I ne...

I personally love Sundays very much if, by chance, I don't spend them just dozing in my bed or cleaning house, taking off the co-webs and listening to my aunt about how filthy my room is. Else Sundays are splendid. Today, nobody is at home, so the atmosphere is really peaceful. Since the covid started, I hardly remember when I spent my day alone and this stillness. That's just one reason to love Sundays. Another is it gives you a chance to heal from the past week, from the regret of not accomplishing tasks or not doing exercise, or the day when you were supposed to be functioning, but you were just stretching like a cat and blaming the damn winter. So, Sunday is meant to wash off all the sins and start fresh. (At least to think that this week will be much better than the past one) I wrote all my sins in the dawning and promised myself to be sounder this week. (Don't tell me that promises are made to break :P). And then I went to explore my city. Though I call this my hometo...

 December 28, 2021 Today I completed the target of reading 21 books this year. Books always amaze me. The first thing I did in January 2021 after shifting to Mumbai was to get to Colaba and buy some fantastic books. I remember my conversation with the book vendor whenever I was asking him about any book, he was telling me the name of the author and names of some other books from the same author, you can expect this thing from the guy who is working at the Crossword but listening to these recommendations from the street vendor and that too without mispronouncing or mistaking a single name indeed amazed me or rather impressed me. When I shop books at Nagpur, this never happens, and even I always struggle to find books of my choice. I remember I talked over many books with the guy as it was early morning and couldn't see any customers nearby. It was a great discussion, from talking on Inferno to heading to Benjamin Franklin's and Einstein's biography and finally ending up with...